The Equally Yoked Debate Will Blow Your Mind: It Did Mine!


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The longer we live the wiser we become, if we believe, chose to follow the Lord by obeying his word and humble ourselves. Looking back over my life, I can’t help but recognize times when I allowed worldly wisdom instead of God’s wisdom to prevail in my life. If you don’t have a true relationship with God it’s easy to confuse worldly wisdom with God’s wisdom. Religious leaders and believers get caught up in embracing worldly wisdom just like non-believers do. They get caught up because God is not the Head in their life, sadly for many they don’t even know it. This happens when we listen to a boatload of people throughout life telling us things like, “you are in control of your life, you don’t need nobody but yourself, the world revolves around you,  you deserve to be happy by any means necessary, and God intended for you to be rich. Last, but certainly not least not understanding what equally yoked means can destroy relationships that could have survived. I am not saying that it is wrong when you chose a spouse to make sure you’re equally yoked.  I’m just saying that the true meaning of “equally yoked” is often misunderstood.

No matter how simple God makes it, for some reason we complicate it. As Christians we should know hands-down “we are not in control of our life, because God is.”

Additionally, we need each other, God made it that way. If this were not the case, the Lord would not have created a mate for Adam.  It’s important to understand that Adam’s mate (Eve) was not just any mate. She was created from Adam’s rib. The equally yoked factor began there. You see first there was a direct correlation between the two, which was Adam’s rib. God made woman from a man so they would be as one. However, in today’s world believer’s and non-believers alike have re-defined equally yoked; stripping it of all spiritual components. They define equally yoked as “having stuff in common, like going to church, neither smoke?” The bible speaks of “two kinds of wisdom;” once you truly understand them you will truly understand God’s definition of equally yoked. See James 3:13


A few months ago I overheard an older woman talking to another woman about a young woman’s marital situation. She said the young woman had moved from one state to another, leaving her husband behind. It seems that originally the young woman’s husband had moved to the new state with the wife. However, once he got there he didn’t like it, so he went back to their hometown. He visits the his wife periodically. The young woman goes to church, but I don’t know if her husband goes or not. During the conversation, the older woman made a statement about the young woman’s marital situation. She said “the problem with the marriage was that the young woman and her husband were not equally yoked.” It was obvious the woman was insenuating that the wife was the prize, or the Christian in the relationship. Now my first thought was, “is she saying the couple was not equally yoked because the young woman goes to church and maybe her husband does not? The young woman had 3 children by three different men, and one marriage under her belt which means that both people had room to work on yoking. I wondered how the woman could be so certain the two were not equally yoked? Expecting something from another you can’t give in return if asked can be considered as living in a fool’s paradise. The question becomes; are you any better than your mate if your life is in need of an overhaul? In this case both people are scarred and broken. Really, just because a person goes to church doesn’t make them a prized possession.

This is what the bible says about equally yoked. Notice going to church is not mentioned, and in my opinion, there’s a good reason for that. Obviously, you have to do more than going to church for God to consider you worthy of salvation. Of course, in grave error, people who go to church on a regular basis consider themselves worthy all the time but that’s what living in spiritual darkness does, it blinds you to truth.

  • “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” II Corinthians 6:14:

    (New International Version–NIV) In this passage, Paul was writing to the church at Corinth. He was talking about believers and non-believers in general.

  • About marriage itself; Ephesians 5:25-27: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”Ephesians 5:25-27: (NIV) If this scripture doesn’t prove God values women then I just don’t know which one would!

    (Problems people ignore when considering the subject of being “equally yoked.”) Some are as follows; Today the church is full of heathens, hypocrites, adulterers, sexual abusers, pedophiles, liars, arrogant folk, mean-spirited folk, and untrustworthy folk. In fact, the church today is a sinner’s hospital. Many of those people are married or in relationships, but nobody can tell. Yokes are broken, fractured and even non-existent in some cases. Basically, God’s people are pretending to be something they are not. Although every church goer believes he or she deserves to be yoked with a Christian, far too many of them are not living Godly lives themselves. Women and men may need to be careful when they ask GChristian man or woman knowing that they are not spiritually ready to receive one.


13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

What is your definition of equally yoked?

 Minister Neecy



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